Healer, Heal Thyself
For almost 20 years now, I have been dedicated to learning the art of healing. I have studied many modalities, learned from master teachers, and have seen hundreds of clients. This year, however, I was reminded again that sometimes the most powerful teaching is learning how to heal myself.
In June of 2007, I hurt my right shoulder gardening. I was reaching overhead to prune a high tree branch, when I felt a pull around my rotator cuff. It was a little sore, but I followed my usual protocol of using arnica internally and externally for acute musculo-skeletal injury. I usually heal quite fast from these minor bumps and bruises, so I wasn’t concerned.
I continued to use my arm as usual…. gardening, dancing, giving massages, and all the other ways in my ordinary active life. It bothered me from time to time, but not enough to catch my serious attention.
By the beginning of September, I began to feel sudden shooting pains down my arm. One part of my shoulder, right on the head of the deltoid muscle, had a funny achy tingling feeling all the time. I began to be more concerned, so I sought professional help. I began regular appointments with my acupuncturist and my chiropractor. I increased my weekly Jin Shin Jyutsu sessions to twice a week. I made myself a kick-ass anti-inflammatory herbal formula.
Despite all this wonderful holistic treatments, my shoulder continued to progress for the worse. I began to slowly loose my range of motion. Doing ordinary things like taking off my shirt, started to be difficult. Worse yet, my beloved activities like hip hop dancing and gardening started to make the pain worse. I tried just about every therapy in the book, including whacking myself with stinging nettles. External application of fresh nettle leaf is an ancient therapy called urtification. The stinging produces an contra-irritant effect to decrease inflammatory conditions like arthritis and rheumatism. The nettles stings helped significantly with the pain, but didn’t seem to stop the progression of losing my range of motion.
Right around Spring Equinox of this year, my shoulder completely froze up. I could no longer lift my arm to my head. I couldn’t part my hair, or put my hair up in a ponytail. I went to my doctor who referred me to an orthopedist. He diagnosed me with adhesive capsulitis, or frozen shoulder. He recommended steroid shot and anti-inflammatory drugs, both of which I refused. Later, I got the drugs for pain, but couldn’t make myself take them. I knew too much about the side effects. I increased my dosages of herbs and employed dozens of different liniments and salves topically to help manage the pain.
I began a course of weekly physical therapy. Physical therapy helped a lot with the referred pain I was experiencing, but didn’t seem to improve my range of motion at all. I was an ideal patient who did all the recommended exercises at home. But still no improvement.
My life changed. I cut back on most of my normal activities. I stopped gardening, dancing, and giving massages. I cried a lot & felt sorry for myself. I learned to adjust to moving around the world with only one good arm.
Coming next time……. surrender, acceptance, and the healing continues.
